Sunday, August 23, 2015

I'm Still Crying. I Am Being Real...

I just want you lovely blogging friends to know, that it is not so simple to just quit crying, when you have been through a nine month trauma. It is day-by-day and step-by-step that we become whole again, through our walk of faith in Christ. I am not perfect and, no, this is not easy. The truth is I am trying to get over a difficult school year, in which people were insensitive and even cruel to me. Also, I have guilt because the truth is I am loved and I get to stay home and be a wife and mother. So many women would love to do what I get to do. My husband and children love me. I am keeping this real. In fact this photo of me is eight years old. It is the picture of me crying when my four kids entered public school instead of me homeschooling them. I am still struggling with the fact that I was not good enough. In truth, Jesus accepts me.  I want to learn to be more thankful to God. I also want to find my fulfillment in God, not in the thank-you's, likes on facebook, or comments and hits on my blog, but rather, that I rest in God alone, and that He, not me gets the glory. It's time for me to grow in grace. The other day, I was so excited because a parent mentioned to me that her daughter missed me. I was super excited over this, and hoping more parents would write me similar notes (this is like Gollum, always craving more). That is terrible. That means I am being fulfilled by worldly wiles, and not being fulfilled by God and His Word.  You know, Satan craved praise, thanks, being acknowledged, noticed and praised. Wow! I want to humble myself. I do not want to find joy and happiness apart from God. He alone will satisfy me, if I could just look to Him and wait on Him. He is faithful. © Feathering My Nest
Colossians 2:7
"...rooted and built up in Him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness."
Blessings, Kathi


Ramblings of a Southern Girl ~ Rhonda G said...

Great reminder Kathi, that are not to seek the praises and approval of men, but to live for Jesus! I often lose sight of this too! I hope that you are feeling better, day by day, even though the pain and cruelty of others can cause lasting effects. What a blessing that you have such a loving and supportive family!

I enjoyed your comment on my ironstone post about your aunt's bowl that survived the tornado in Oklahoma. Sorry that she had to experience that, but how neat to have a piece of family history that is documented!

Take care! :) ~Rhonda

Rose of Sharon said...

Hang in there sister, the best is yet to come. You have been through a terrible ordeal and YOU survived it! God gave you strength! He's not just gonna leave you on the back porch in the rain! I know there are many wonderful things in store for you!!!


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