Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Reflecting About Fear and How God Uses it to Build Faith and Trust in Him

Dear Friends This past summer my two girls and I joined a Beth Moore Bible study. It was wonderful! I learned a great deal. One message that stood out with me was when Beth suggested (backed by Scripture), that when God calls you to do something, many times it's kind of scary. (More about this in a minute). Here are the girls and I ready to leave for our Bible study. I loved loved loved this time with my two daughters. It was a precious summer. Every Monday night we went to our study with Beth Moore as our leader. As I was saying. You can tell when you've been walking closely with the Lord, that He has brought you some place you need to be, either to learn something or to glorify Him, or to build your faith, or to trust Him more, or all of the above. I was a substitute teacher for six years in five school districts. I never told you this, but here goes... I was "Black Listed" from my own son's elementary school! (shocking, I know).  That means that the teachers agreed that they would NOT ask me to be their sub. WHY? I was nice. (sad face). Were they just being mean?  I was a good teacher. (Happy face). I called the district office and asked if I had done something wrong. They said my report was a shining gleaming one, and that nothing bad had ever been said about me. That made me feel better. Here comes the scary part.

I am really good with little ones, especially those shorter than me. I was asked to stretch a bit and teach for two plus weeks at our daughters' high school in one of their classes, (A.P. English... writing...my most feared subject, as I had writer's block for many years. It's pure answer to prayer I graduated from college). So this is what I'm talking about. Sometimes it is time for our faith to grow, like a little mustard seed grows into a huge tree, as Jesus said in Matthew. I knew I needed to do this job and to do it well. I was given a chance at the high school in the same district which had rejected me at the elementary level, but, I was quaking in my boots. Our church was having a 12 hour a day prayer schedule. I signed up for the 6:00 am slot for one hour, all week. I'm so thankful I did. Every day I asked for prayer and also, prayed for others. I got through each day teaching scary TALL high school students ENGLISH. I was aware that God was with me. I had peace each day once I got to school. My girls and their friends were a delight for me to teach and to talk with me. For the 2nd week, however, my two daughters and most of their sweet friends were gone on a musical tour to Disney Land, with their jazz choir. Boy was I ever leaning on the "Ever Lasting Arms," and I mean it. God gave me ideas. Which encouraged me. Here is one idea: A big bowl of candy to get students motivated. (God gives you ideas, when you've be in prayer. They just pop into your head).  The students had just read Frankenstein and were allowed to watch the movie. The problem was that the new version was rated 'R' and VERY disturbing. The old 1950's version, which was acceptable, was unavailable, so... I brought my copy of "Young Frankenstein" and skipped all the questionable parts. This was a big hit with them, and I thank God for the idea.   I also was able to talk with students about doing their best and showed them parts of another movie called "Stand and Deliver." By the grace of God I got through those two plus weeks. I taught them to write, and made them do their best.  I was stronger, had more faith, and I trusted God, because He never left my side. He was with me every second.  Later, I heard from my daughters, that they heard from the grape vine that I was one of the best subs.; even better than one teacher who came over from the elementary school, to help during the difficult time of replacing the A.P. English teacher. Praise God for 
His goodness to me.

I am going to add that when I was a new mother I was very overwhelmed, and wondered if I would Ever Ever Ever have all of my ducks in a row, and Ever have nice sweet children who loved Jesus and obeyed their parents. This is a photo of my mother-in-law, Vivian, and my three active children greeting her. As you can
see, she looks overwhelmed too.
. I longed for that feeling of confidence that all of those women from the 1940's and 1950's had. Why couldn't I have that too? Well, slowly but surely, I did gain that confidence through prayer and through trusting the Lord. He has been so faithful to me. I praise Him for His goodness and for always keeping His promises.

 "If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree, 'Be uprooted and planted in the sea,' and it will obey you." Matt. 17:6  

Blessings, Kathi

3 comments:

A Romantic Porch said...

Kathi, What a beautiful story of God's faithfulness. There are times I am filled with so much fear and have to pray and quote scripture.
I know you must be a wonderful teacher and mother.

It is so easy to feel like a loser and compare ourselves to others. Isn't it?

Even now, there are times that I just feel like I DON"T have it together and I pray and ask God help me to stay organized and on task and be a faithful witness for HIM.
Your blog posts are lovely.
Rachel

Rose of Sharon said...

You are so sweet sister dear. I love you. I am so thankful that God helped you with that teaching God and he gave you HIS Victory over those mean people. I'm also thankful that He gave you the confidence in your mothering. You are a wonderful mother and you have raised amazing kids!!!! I love you!!!

Sharon

DIY Marta said...

Thank you for sharing your weaknesses and glorifying the ONE who turns those weaknesses into strength when we step out in faith.

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