Friday, February 8, 2008

Sleepless


I was wide awake with worry and fear. I was stewing and could not sleep. Most of my worries are about bringing up my children to be good citizens, who love the Lord, are smart, kind, loving, and all the things a parent tries to instill in her children. I kept thinking that I didn't measure up. These are all lies from the pit. I know that all I have to do is ask God for wisdom and help and He promises to be there for me. So this is what I did......
Once again I knew where to go for the answer to my worries and fears. It's to the Lord and His Word. I decided that it didn't matter what time it was. Now, if I were an experienced blogger I would have shown a picture of the clock. Well, I will tell you. It read 3:00 am! I got up and prayed and read my Bible. I made the coffee! I was serious! I listed all the concerns for every family member in my journal. Then I prayed in faith for each one. I felt so light and joyful afterwards.
I can trust the Lord. He will help me to be wise in teaching and training my children. It took a huge load off my mind to list out my concerns for each child, and give them to Him. Jesus said: Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. Matt. 11:29
He tends his flock like a shepherd:
He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to His heart; He gently leads those that have young.Isaiah 40:11.
God is faithful. As my children get older I can see His hand of protection, guidance, and blessing. All things work together for good to them that love God, Romans 8:28. I can trust him, and I can sleep peacefully tonight. Guilt is the biggest problem for the homeschool mom. I do believe most guilt is from Satan, but some guilt could be our conscience. It could be the Holy Spirit telling us to stay in tune with HIM. When guilt comes...on my knees I go. I have learned. It has taken me many years, but I have learned that the safest place to be is in total dependence on the Lord.

7 comments:

Sharon said...

Kathi,

I feel bad that you couldn't sleep and had such fear. You are an excellent mother and your children are all awesome and all love the Lord. It is the enemy trying to get you down. At the same time, perhaps the Lord wanted you to get up and write down your fears and prayers and give them all to Him. You have been faithful and have prayed over them their whole lives. They are safe in God's hands.

I think guilt is one of the biggest problems for all mothers. We just need to trust the Lord and ask for His wisdom as we are raising our children.

I will pray that you will feel God's peace about this.

Love you, Sharon

Sharon said...

P.S. You look pretty sleeping! :0)

Cottage Contessa said...

Oh Kathi, how I can relate to this post! Being a fellow homeschooling mum, I know all too well these fears too, and on my knees I go as well. Hugs for you sweetie.
Amanda (aka Cottage Contessa)

nannykim said...

Good post; true words. You did the right thing--went to God and His Word with prayer. I have seen (or am seeing) the importance of loving God with all of our Minds. Elizabeth George's book is so good on this. She uses Phil 4:8 "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. 9 What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you"---we need to always think on, ponder, etc what is true. We need to stop worrying about the past and the future and focus on what we are doing in the present. Satan does know how to attack our minds. God's word is a weapon and you used it just the way we are supposed to!! I think many homeschool teachers struggle with the issues you have mentioned--and it is good to examine or conscience--to spend time listening, really listening, to what God wants us to hear. Sometimes we are so busy telling him are desires (which is very important) that we neglect to listen. God bless you and thanks for the Post. ps I do love the fact of Romans 8 that you posted---that is one thing to focus our minds on for true encouragement.

Cindy said...

Oh sleepless nights. Is this a characteristic of the 40 something crowd that we all have to endure? I too go the God during these times and do not allow Satan to use the middle of the night as his playground.

Your family is beautiful. They look similar to the ages of may children. You site is lovely.

Daughter of the King said...

As someone who suffers from insomnia....I know prayer is the key...pray pray pray...and ask the Lord to bring to mind ....who????
we will never know the effect of those middle of the night prayers..
Deby
first time here, I *think*

Tanya said...

I believe the best time for God to speak to me is early in the morning and I am focused on Him about something in my life. He wanted to talk to you. He knows your heart and He wants to take your burdens. His are light and He love you.. He will never leave you nor forsake you. He gave you these children, because He know you will not take this lightly. So, do not fear, but rejoice in the creature of the universe. He has choosen you for a task that He knows you will fulfil. God bless you for having such a loving heart. Tanya

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